When my friend invited me to tell me She lost my dogWe first made a regular conversation for a full ten minutes. Then the kicker came: “I am ashamed to tell you this, but…”
Honestly, I personally said, “Hello, I call because I lost your dog.” Isn’t the time of essence in these events?
But first, we talked about my journey. I told her about the article I was writing. She told me about her week at work. We may have talked about our altar arrangements for the day of death.
When I ask another friend if she wants to go out and do something, she will never ask if I will give her a ride. She says she wants, and she has no money for a taxi only. Honestly, “I am a little short of taxi money. Any opportunity to take me and take me home?”
But this is my cultural preference, not the cultural preference of most people around me.
My partner manages a popular pipe room, which now operates with only one third of those who need them. They often hire people, and the same people often leave without a word. There is no two weekend notice, no “Hey, this is not working for me.” Usually, they stop showing. When they do this, they do not respond to messages or respond to the phone.
The final example: because a boy did not show a date with me once – he told me later – it was very hard. But on the day of our date, he did not show or say a word about it: no apology, no excuse. Next week, he wanted to rethink, and considered an easy apology for a very small sin. Good!
Mexican hates, hates, and hates bad news. You don’t want to panic. They do not want to sigh in despair. They do not want to get caught especially crazy. They don’t want to say “no”.
Payers naturally create a hard -made exterior to deliver bad news, and I consider them to protect their subtle feelings. They become Hardened clerks at the bureaucratic offices we are afraid.
But if they can find the way to soften the bad news – or even better, they do not say it – they will do.
For me and many of my companions, you will act like a normal conversation before asking for a help. “You really don’t want to talk to me. You wanted to borrow!”
Ok, but what is they too Want to talk to you? The Mexican people are good at butter and sometimes feel like butter. Things may be a transaction, but it does not mean that they should be unpleasant, right?
Because coming out and saying things is not usually the best way to do things here. Not crude, but the best metaphor I think for sweets… lubricant.
Dive the right, and the person at the end of it will be unpleasant and embarrassed. It is practically violent, in fact. They may hide their anger, but trust me, it will be on the surface. Is it time for full conversation before hearing something or before they give information they don’t like? Start with at least “Buenus Thiaz” or “Bunas Darts”. At least.
Here’s the question that usually answers us: are they disgusting? Everyone is capable, of course. But most Mexican must actually be polite and exchanged sweets in all kinds of circumstances. Although I doubt a friend in the United States in using this technique, here I expect it.
“Keys, a ‘Buenus Das’ even?” I can think of these days.
So what do we do as a foreigner, especially those of us who have a very direct style and appreciate?
Sometimes I am directly with myself – after some sweets, of course – with those close to me or with those I have to work. “Please tell me directly. It’s okay. It will really help me.”
Because I cannot completely ignore my own cultural dependence: avoiding bad news, lying to me. In addition, hiding the truth makes everything slow, because when there is a problem, I want to solve it quickly. My partner says that the truth is always coming out. This is true and soon I am in the worst idea that I will always be better later.
However, I am not creating rules here, so it is necessary to “go along with” the same for the migrants everywhere in the world.
Now, even if I want to be full for things I want to talk or listen, I remember: to reduce the medication, really need spoonful sugar. Without it, people can be pushed by bad flavor, and they cannot at least appreciate the object. Honestly, It is easy to offend Mexican people inadvertently. Who wants to do that?
So let those desserts loose. Talk about the weather. Ask about their families. Find out if they have the funniest weekend plans they are looking forward to.
When someone asks you a help after a few sweets, remember that they all use a cultural value that they all admire: extreme respect. Enter and enjoy it. If you want to say “no”, it’s okay – try to be soft about it.
No one wants to get bad news.
Sarah Devris A writer and translator of Varagruz’s Salaba. Can access her through her website, Sarahvris.Sapstag.com.
Post Getting the point: direct and indirect contact in Mexico. Originally appeared Mexico news daily
(Tagstotranslate) Mexican Culture
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